Not Going Home || Great Good Fine Ok
if i could tell something sincere, i hate being myself. those captions that been telling us to love ourselves, well, they’re bullshit. for me. let me give you a standing applause for loving yourself so much as you haven’t done something real meaningful in your life.
i was never requesting myself to be someone valuable during God created me. God created me with some additional ingredient which made me an introvert. yes, i consider myself as an introvert with no doubt. i might be not, but these environments have pushed down these walls.
gotta admit, i hate being in a circle when people talk out off my radar. like, you know, all these feeling have gone like, “whats the point of my existence here? you talk about something that i wasn’t involved. you did not even involved. what? i am an accessory here? fuck off.” so all i was doing just keeping my mouth shut and pretending that there was a buzz on my phone.
an introvert? yes, i hate talking to people. i am scared talking to people. life is better when its only me and my anti-social world. just me and mind palace.
you may call myself as a phony. a phony who has an ability to absorb a happiness while the situation is near on the edge.
thanks tumblr, you’re the only one who understands me. who understands people like me.
yes, that brownish water was inside our house. devoured half our stuff. was taken on 18th of January 2014. the rain was regularly hard and suddenly a small wave came to our neighbourhood. if you asked me “is this thing happens once in a year?” my answer in “No!” we haven’t had (the massive one) before. THIS IS the 3rd (after in 2004), and the WORST!
ah yes, this one was my first patient. she obviously has beautiful face, so yeah, its easier to manage the pose and the retouch.
if you’re interested with her talent to be in your “commercial” stuff. just contact RanCage Models, the agency.
this is my very first time for being in an environment where FORD, BANANA REPUBLIC or NEW YORK MODELS agency are recruiting new fresh models. so excited to learn something new that day. its just literally open my eyes if this kind of job is pretty much the coolest job that i would fit and of course i will enjoy to earn some money. like, everything in here are all my passion. taking photos, meeting new people, learning something new from new people. ah, this is actually my kind of dream job.
this song by Röyksopp been playing over my head like over and over for a hundred times. it was pretty much my childhood song. i was 10 back there where i had first impression of how good Röyksopp’s works were. after that, i’m deeply in love with electro-pop songs.
i’m not gonna reminiscing my happiness or even sorrow down here anyway. i just adore the evening sky in Bandung today. it wasn’t just today. since days ago, while the rainy weather had suddenly stopped. this picture was taken right at the top of my dorm when the clouds look friendly with houses & buildings beneath them.
so today was going as flat as another days backwards. i went to campus for one class only then here i am, stuck in my own sanctuary where laptop is a good actor to be my lover. yes, things around myself are lovers of mine. laptop, camera, smartphone, papers, fabrics, dolls, every dead things around me, all dead things.
ah man, i wish i could gain my writing skills.